


Worst Kept Secrets

by Multifandom_damnation



Series: What is death to a man who fears no God? [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Childhood Memories, Explanations, Family Secrets, Fear of Discovery, Gangs, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memory Loss, Missing Persons, Missing in Action, Self-Sacrifice, Suspension Of Disbelief, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 11:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16325615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Cisco led the way to where Wally, Harry, Barry and Caitlin were already gathered. “Guys, we need to talk.”“What’s wrong?” Caitlin turned around at their entry and frowned at the looks on all their faces. “Is everything alright?”“We need to talk about the night Armando died,” Cisco announced, the words catching in his chest. “About what really happened.”





	Worst Kept Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I've had to re-upload this but it's the same exact fic x there were some things I was told to fix, but it's back up now x

Dante corners him in his workshop as he’s about to put a screwdriver down and pick up another wiring grid. Cisco looks up as Dante shuts the door behind him and crosses his arms as he leans against the doorframe. “We’re not going to tell Armando anything, are we?”

Sighing, Cisco spun his chair around to face his brother. He was wearing a S.T.A.R Labs jumper, one of the millions they have in the storeroom, and an old pair of ratty jeans Cisco had found in a closet- it might have once belonged to Harry if Harry had less style. “No. I don’t want to tell him about anything. Especially not about mum and dad.”

“Do you think he knows what really happened?” Dante asked, pushing off from the wall and moving to sit on Cisco’s workbench. “I mean, we told him that he just disappeared. I suppose we’ve been lying for so long about it that the lies have started being the truth, huh?”

Seeing the time and realizing that this was going to be a long conversation, Cisco methodically went through the process of turning off his computers and putting away his tools. Dante let him, waiting patiently as his younger brother occupied his hands with meaningless tasks to get his thoughts in order. “I’ve never told a soul, Dante, and I know you haven’t either. We can’t tell Mando- he might not even know what happened to himself.”

“He told us what he thought happened.” Dante laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “I almost corrected him, Cisco. I almost told my own big brother that he was _wrong_.”

“Well, he was.” Cisco insisted. “Mum didn’t know he had left because he didn’t tell her. Coach didn’t tell him to go, we all snuck out and went to play that stupid game.”

“Last Man Standing.” Dante ground out. His hands were clenched into fists so tight that the knuckles were showing up white on the skin. “We were so _stupid_.”

Nodding, Cisco stood up from his chair and moved to lean on the bench across from his brother. His hair was getting longer- longer than Cisco knew he preferred it. Dante would be too embarrassed to ask for any help. Cisco would have to go out and buy him a set of scissors when he got the chance. “I know. But Armando… we had to live most of our lives without him. He doesn’t know anything about us now. This is a secret that we’ll have to keep like we’ve done all our lives.”

“Now, what have I told you boys about keeping secrets?” Both brothers jumped to see Armando at the doorway, walking in with his football jacket slung over his shoulder. “Especially from your big brother?”

“Mando, what are you doing here?” Dante asked, pushing away from the table. He shared a worried look with Cisco. “Where have you been anyway? I went looking for you but couldn’t find you.”

“I was downstairs with that Wally boy. He seems nice. He’s fast though- put me through the wringer, even without the super speed.” Dropping his jacket down on the table, Mando pulled out a chair and wiped his brow of sweat. “But anyway- you’re having a party in here without me. You’ve been keeping secrets from me?”

Snorting, Cisco shook his head. “Of course not. We would never do something like that, you know. You taught us better than to keep secrets.” Not mum or dad, because though Armando was their brother, he took better care of them than their parents could ever hope to.

“Yeah Mando, nothing to worry about.” Dante agreed.

“These walls are not soundproof,” Armando reminded, crossing his legs. “And I know you both very, very well. You know I don’t like being lied to and you know I especially don’t like people keeping secrets from me. So spill.”

The room was silent for a moment, Cisco kept his face turned to the floor, Armando glanced between one brother to the next and Dante silently urging Cisco to speak with his eyes. Eventually, Cisco gave in and sat upright in his chair. “Listen, Mando… this might not make any sense. I mean, it never made any sense to us…” he glanced at Dante for support but his brother was very conveniently looking at anything but him. “You didn’t just… disappear. You were murdered like Dante was but it wasn’t by… a person.”

Armando paused and it was if the whole world stood still. Cisco and Dante held their breath and Armando ran a hand through his hair. Finally, he sighed slowly through his nose and looked at Cisco. “I want to know what happened- the truth. But I feel like what you're about to tell me is something that would better involve your team. So why don’t we call them to the Cortex and get them involved?"

Classic Armando. Always the sensible one. Always put others in front of himself. Always made sure everyone was included. “Yeah, sure.” Cisco led the way to where Wally, Harry, Barry and Caitlin were already gathered, arguing about something Cisco couldn’t bother deciphering. “Guys, we need to talk.”

“What’s wrong?” Caitlin turned around at their entry and frowned at the looks on all their faces. “Is everything alright?”

“We need to talk about the night Armando died,” Cisco announced, the words catching in his chest. Were they really doing this? Years of keeping that night a secret finally being let out into the open? A glance at Dante showed him struggling with the same questions. “About what really happened.”

They waited for the others to find their seats before Dante and Cisco turned to Armando, who was leaning himself against the console. “It was late and we snuck out of the house so we could play Last Man Standing somewhere that mum and dad wouldn’t hear us.” Cisco began. This time, Dante nodded at him in reassurance and knowing his brother was with him spurred him on. “Armando suggested that we’d go to the football ground- it was where he’d train. We’ve done it before- taken the pick-up and driven home before mum and dad found out.”

“I didn’t get any calls from coach Johnson?” Armando’s voice was deathly quiet, unbelieving of the facts being told to him. “I didn’t get hit by something?”

“No,” Cisco whispered. He glanced at Dante again, who was keeping his head down, hidden in his hands. “It was my fault. I never won Last Man Standing so I thought that if I ran into the woods I could hide. I was smaller and weaker than both of you, even back then and nothing’s changed now. I thought that if I hid for a bit you’d take each other out and then give up.”

When Cisco found himself unable to continue the story without tears springing to his eyes and bile rising in his throat, Dante made his way across the room and continued for Cisco. “He didn’t come when we called him so we went in looking. He was right, we couldn’t find him. But something… something found _us_.”

Resisting the urge to sob, Cisco turned to the rest of Team Flash, carefully keeping Armando and his distraught confusion out of his line of sight. “I watched a beast come out of the trees and a portal opened up in the sky. I floated up but Armando grabbed me and the… thing killed him. It took him up into the portal with him and the sky closed up.”

“The police had been asking us for information about the case since we were children.” Dante continued, squeezing Cisco’s shoulder. “They started with me but they knew I wasn't telling the truth so they went to Cisco.”

Cisco shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell them anything.”

“Right, but I was getting sick of them asking us questions all the time so I hacked into one of their database things and deleted all our files.” Dante shrugged at the confused look on everyone’s faces. “Wasn’t a big deal. I was tired of having to deal with the whole, ‘sorry for your loss but we need to ask you a couple of questions’ crap so I just took us off of the system.”

Stepping forward, Harry put his hand in the air. “I’m sorry, you think that hacking into an official police database is ‘not a big deal’? Are you _insane?_ You could have been caught and then where would you be?”

“Relax man,” Dante waved Harry off with a roll of his eyes. Armando smiled faintly, which was the most positive reaction that had come from him so far. “I’ve been hacking since I was a kid- got to be useful for Los Lobos, huh?” Armando flinched at the name and Cisco bit his lip and his brother’s stupidity. “Anyway, one day I opened the files to make sure nobody had opened anything else on us and all I found was 'Rupture' and a whole heap of your sporting achievements. But some of them seemed... different, wrong like someone was covering something up. I deleted them when I took you off the system too.”

Cisco turned to face Armando who was very, very diligently staring away to memorise the patterns on the floor. “Mum and dad thought it was Los Lobos, Armando. And we knew that it wasn’t but who the hell would listen to two kids who thought they just saw their big brother taken? Nobody cared about what we said.”

“What does Los Lobos have to do with anything?” Armando asked, defeated.

“What’s… Los Lobos?” Barry asked.

“The gang Armando used to lead,” Dante explained. Quickly, he said. “We came from a poor family and we needed all the money we could get. Cisco started working as soon as he could. Armando had two jobs on top of Los Lobos and the football team.”

Armando fixed his brothers with a cold, hard stare, one they hadn’t seen since they were children and were caught trying to follow Mando in the dead of night to gang meetings. “Why do mum and dad think Los Lobos had anything to do with me disappearing?”

Sighing in pitiful resignation, Cisco closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see Armando’s face. “They thought that every time you snuck out, it was to be with the gang.” He took a deep breath. “They thought you were running away to get drunk and hook up with girls and go on road trips and that it was what killed you.”

“You’re _joking,_ ” Armando hissed, covering his ears with his hands and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Cisco shared a worried glance with Dante who was already tip-toeing over to block the door. “They wouldn’t. They know I’ve never done anything like that in my life and that I would never leave for _Los Lobos.”_ Abruptly, he stood and glanced at Cisco. “You told them I wouldn’t, right?”

Shrugging, Cisco tried to take a tentative step forward. “They wouldn’t believe me. In my mind, you could do no wrong. So there wasn’t any point trying after the first year.”

Glancing around the room wildly, Armando clenched his fists. “I have to go and make sure they know it wasn’t true. I need to tell them-“

“Mando, you can’t do that,” Cisco said as Dante moved to fully block the door. “I’ll breach you to the Pipeline if I have to.”

The room seemed to still as Armando turned his back to Cisco and made his way to the door. Hurt, Cisco turned away as well to face his friends, rubbing up and down his arm as if he’d been physically hit by his brother’s action. He could hear hushed voices speaking in Spanish by the door and suddenly Dante grunted and when Cisco turned back, Dante had been pushed against the wall and Armando had made his way out of the room.

Quickly, Cisco rushed into the hallway with no hope of stopping Armando. Not only was he faster than Cisco, even without his head start, but he was much stronger. “Mando, they’re not home.” Cisco tried to reason. “You can’t go and talk to them if there is nobody to talk to.”

He was met with silence as Armando’s shoes squealed sharply on the polished floor as he rounded a corner and was gone from Cisco’s view. He stood there for a moment, basking in how painful solitude was now that he had the opportunity to have his family back. While he had once been more than happy to hide away in his workroom until he had a firm grip on his feelings and emotions but now…

Now he found himself wanting to go back in the Cortex and be with Dante, who was just as worried about Armando as he was.

As Cisco was blinking away the glare of the fluorescent lights, the world around him flickered to blue hues and he inwardly groaned as he watched the past repeat itself- Armando, being dragged into a portal from the sky, Dante trying to pull Cisco away and Cisco, staring wide-eyed at the beast that came out of the portal and took his brother away.

The world snapped back to him with a force that was almost painful and Cisco stumbled his way into the Cortex where Dante was pacing back and forth while rubbing his hands roughly in his hair, making it stick up in odd angles. Behind him, the others were giving him space and speaking in hushed tones, sparing glances at the frustrated Dante.

“Stop Dante, there isn’t any point.” Cisco sighed in defeat. “You know that when he gets an idea in his head…”

“There’s no stopping him.” Dante agreed. His voice was bitter and Cisco locked that information away for later, hoping to ask his brother about that another time. “What are we going to do? Are mum and dad really not home?”

Cisco nodded, picking up one of the pens that were lying on the console and rubbing it absentmindedly between his palms. “They haven’t and won’t be for months.” He explained. “They do this all the time.”

Dante looked like he was about to question Cisco and demand to know why their parents weren’t around, but Caitlin chose that moment to come forward and stand beside Cisco. Her smile was the most calming thing Cisco had seen all day and the hand on his arm- while still as freezing as always- was comforting in a way Cisco couldn’t explain. “Meet him there then.” She suggested. “If he’s going no matter what, why don’t you let him go to your parents’ house and talk to him outside.”

Snorting, Dante whirled on Caitlin. “You’re speaking as if you know us. ‘Talk to him’. Armando doesn’t talk to anyone he’s in a bad mood with, especially after something like this.”

Before Cisco could turn to Dante and tell him off for speaking to Caitlin with such deep disrespect, Caitlin smiled up at Dante- the kind of smile that was not calming but was keen and discerning. “I don’t know you or Armando. But I know _Cisco_ and I know that no matter how badly someone is feeling, he can always get them to talk.”  She winked. “It’s his superpower.”

Taking a deep breath, Cisco nodded and patted Dante on the shoulder. “Yeah. She’s right. Don’t worry, I’ve got this- I’ll bring him back.” Turning to Caitlin, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her in a tight hug. “Thanks for that. It’s always nice to get a Caitlin Snow pep talk. I’ll be back.”

Turning around, Cisco fired a breach at the hallway and leapt through it, wincing at Dante’s startled gasp and strangled yet rapid questioning. Yeah, that was something he would have to explain very soon.

The breach didn’t send Cisco to his old family home but instead to the end of the street. Instead of breaching closer, Cisco stuck his hands in his pockets and began the slow, ominous walk to the house he had grown up in. The old streetlights still hadn’t been repaired since the last time he had made this walk and the diving lines in the middle of the road had long since faded.

Lots of memories had been made on this walk, on this street, at that house. Some memories that Cisco never wanted to remember- others he was forced to relive at times when he closed his eyes. There were some memories though, where Cisco found himself smiling and wishing he could go back to those days when they were all a happy family.

Armando hefting Cisco onto his shoulders as they walked. Dante getting ice-cream on his nose. Both brothers listening while Cisco talked about scientific things they could never understand. Armando’s pep talks before an important event or meeting or family gathering. Dante standing up for Cisco when the bullies came around the corner until Armando came and scared them away. Armando telling them about their futures. Cisco pointing out patterns in the clouds. Armando carrying him home whenever Cisco would fall asleep while walking. Dante skipping hope and telling them about a new friend or someone he thought was attractive at school.

He found Armando standing with his hands in his pockets on the footpath before their childhood home, illuminated by the streetlight at his back and watching the darkened windows impassively. Cisco stopped beside him and turned to watch the silent house. The glare from the streetlight glinted off the windows, the interior of the house dark and empty. Finally, Armando broke their tight silence with a shuffle of feet and a quiet yet strained sigh. “They don’t keep the spare key in the flower pot anymore.”

“No,” Cisco replied. “Once I got a keychain to put them and Dante decided to live at home, they realised that they didn’t really need one anymore.” He glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye, who was still staring expressionlessly at the house. “You were the only one who forgot his keys. When you disappeared and never came back mum decided she didn’t want anyone to find it and break in so she brought it inside.”

“Why aren’t they home?” Armando’s voice was quiet and reserved as if he were afraid to speak too loudly and be given a horrible answer he can’t forget. “Why aren’t you with them?”

Even though he knew Armando couldn’t see him, Cisco shrugged out of habit. “We haven’t been close in ages. I don’t know. They don’t normally stick around this time of year. I can’t blame them- I can hardly bring myself to visit your graves. It hurt too much, you know?”

Instead of answering, Armando shifted his feet anxiously again and turned his eyes down to the footpath- tread many times by his brothers and him. “Why can’t I remember what really happened? What was the beast that took me? Why does 'Rupture' feel so different to me now?”

“We don’t know. I can’t give you an answer for those.” Cisco admitted apologetically. He never had to apologise to Armando for things he had no control over- kicking a football onto a roof, yes, breaking his favourite mug, yes- but never for things so large. “I would if I could, Mando, but honestly I don’t even understand myself.”

Humming, Armando finally turned to face Cisco but in the darkness, his expression was unreadable. “How did you get here so fast?” He asked “I’m a pretty fast runner, Paco, but even I wouldn’t have made it here so quickly. And I know you-you've never past a gym class. You hate running.”

“I’m sorry Mando…” Cisco started, keeping his eyes on his brother’s neon-green laces even though he knew Armando couldn’t see him. “I can’t tell you that yet. It’s… complicated.”

“So many secrets.” Armando turned back to the house, rocking back and forth on his heels. “And here I thought we were done keeping secrets. Hell, I don’t think you’ve ever kept so many secrets from me the whole time we’ve been brothers. Which has been forever, Cisco.”

“You know things have changed now.” Cisco loathed to admit it, but he knew deep down that it was true. Everything was different. He had learnt to grow and adapt and live without both of his brothers and his life couldn’t stop just because they were suddenly back in it. It just didn’t work that way, no matter how much Cisco wished that it would. “But I promise, I’ll tell you everything. I just need… time. You need time. Dante needs time. Hell, we all need time to figure it out and learn how to be a family again!”

“Be a family again?” This time, Cisco could feel the stare Armando pinned him with- hard and poisonous. A rare burst of anger that Cisco had never felt directed at him- only to bookies with no respect and people who treated Armando’s brothers poorly. Cisco had to wonder what he’d done wrong. “What do you mean? We’ve always been a family and nothing can ever change that.”

Cisco could feel the precariously unstable glass inside of him begin to shatter as he turned to meet Armando’s eyes. “Time didn’t just stop when you left, Mando! We had to keep going or life was going to take off without us. Dante and I have hardly spoken in years and the one time we were finally starting to get close again, he dies. And then I had to learn how to live again, this time as an only child, and my life continued without both of you in it. So yeah, I need to learn what it’s like to have brothers again because I’ve been without them for so long that now you being here feels weird than you not being here in the first place.”

His voice reverberated off the houses and parked cars, appearing to echo down the street. Cisco thought that he might have been panting. Armando's eyes found the floor again, unable to meet his brothers piercing gaze. It was never supposed to be like this- they were supposed to be brothers. Supposed to be a _family_.  
  
"To me, it’s like I had never left." Armando admitted quietly. "I couldn't understand why you had run away when you first saw us or why you've been busying yourself with other things instead of spending time with us."  
  
"I'm not used to having you guys around. I'm not used to having brothers who will be there for me." Cisco took a tentative step towards Armando who to Cisco's relief, didn't pull away. "But now that you _are_ back, I'm trying to make it right. But it's hard, having you around. I'll need to learn how to work through it because I really do want us to be a family again."  
  
Sighing, Armando slung a heavy arm over Cisco's shoulder, the act so familiar and easy that Cisco almost started crying. "Well, Paco, if you're willing to try again then I definitely am too."  
  
Leaning into his brother's warm embrace, Cisco felt whole for the first time in ages. The first time since Armando died, since Dante was killed, since Killer Frost took Caitlin, since Barry got stuck in the Speed Force, since H.R sacrificed himself, since he and Cynthia broke up. It was a new feeling for him- the feeling of no longer feeling broken, empty. "Can we go back to S.T.A.R Labs?" He asked quietly. "I think I have some explaining to do. And it’s cold."  
  
Armando smiled down at his brother tucked safely under his arm. Because he _was_ safe. Mando would never let anyone hurt Cisco as long as he was around. "Sure. Only if you take us back through that blue portal thing. That looks _awesome_."


End file.
